Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Emotional Insurance.

I am sorry if I have accused you of not being there.
I am sorry if I have not told you often enough how thankful I am for your existance.
I am sorry if I have not appreciated your presence.
I am sorry if I have tested your patience by being quiet when I should have said something.
I am sorry if I was away celebrating my victories when I should have been nursing your wounds.
I am sorry if I ever said I am busy when I was actually not.
I am sorry if I expected you to be understanding when I was not.
I am sorry if I ruined your plans by inviting myself over when I needed to.
I am sorry if I ever took advantage of your selflessness.
I am sorry if I was inconsiderate and frank at the wrong moments.
I am sorry if I ever made you feel less loved.

How much you mean to me is unfathomable.

SONG: If I lie here (Snow Patrol)

Thursday, September 20, 2007

If every word I said could make you laugh, I'd talk forever.

And there's no mountain too high
No river too wide
Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side.
Storm clouds may gather and stars may collide.
But I'll love you, until the end of time.
Come what may.

I will let a hundred knives through my thankless self, if it meant I could run my fingers through your hair one more time.
I will drink as much poison as the seas, if it meant I could breathe my last in your wake.
I will die a thousand deaths if I must, if it meant to spend a fraction of my life with you.

For those few words of care,
For those few minutes of love,
For those endless dreams that you make me dream,
For the hopes that you foster
For the wounds you have mended
I'd go through any hell any number of times.

SONG: O Saathi re (Omkara)
COLOR: Sunshine yellow

Monday, September 3, 2007

Pyar mein dil pe maar le goli le le meri jaan.

I wish that this world may contain only things that make you happy.
I wish I were the only one who could cause you pain, because I never will, and even if I do, then its easier to shoot myself down.
I wish our silences to be meaningful.
I wish I could hear your heartbeat no matter how far I am from you because it is my favorite sound in the world.
I wish I wake up to a smile on your face every morning rather than the sun's.
I wish geography had no significance in our lives.

But the truth is,

My world has only things that pain you.
I am not brave enough to shoot myself down. Or anyone else.
Our silences only showcase our ego.
Yelling is all I hear.
It's like the sun goes down on me every morning.
Every millimeter seems to stretch forever.

One last wish is to stop turning my blog into my personal diary.
One last truth is that if I did that, then I would currently have nothing to put in my blog.

COLOR: Algae green
MUSIC: Junoon

Saturday, September 1, 2007

Any cheesy title.

That is what this post should have. A cheesy title. I didn't put one myself because there were too many winners.

Every time I hit a cranky note, I try to think if things have been worse than this. If they have been, then I needn't worry because I have been through that kind of hell and back. If it is an all time low, then it probably means that time has come to stretch my limits and tread thinner ice and walk hotter embers. Time has come to become stronger.

He who doesn't leave old lands shall never see new shores.

At nearly the end of a month long vacation in India, I honestly thought I would feel very different from the way I am right now. Maybe because I still keep seeing people the way I saw them a year back, but they have changed shades. Friends, family and even foes have changed. Some smiles have become artificial, some others shine more genuinely than ever. Some are unexpectedly pleasant and some others are painful reminders of what geographical distance has done.

The sun still shines yellow
The grass is still green
It is people who've changed color
And its not gone unseen.
Some wounds have healed
Some old ones revisited
A few new gashes have cut
And necrosed ones mourned.
The water is still blue
Laughter still is music
The change is only in you
The rest is all a trick.

I am not sure if this will make sense to me ten days later. But it does not. Maybe because I am painting from a palette of emotions and not writing on clean slate.

COLOR: Mint green
SONG Beetein lamhe (TRAIN)